Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
