I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Someone shit on the floor
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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