had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
