i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
