I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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