I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
