i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
