I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize