Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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