just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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