i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
