just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
