i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
