my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
