Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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