Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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