A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What drink are we having for lunch?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
