You really coming over, don't trick.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
