You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
