i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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