they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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