Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize