i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
