I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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