Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
