Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
