Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
