Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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