You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
