but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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