what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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