Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Edward fifth and chaser hands
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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