sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
