I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
