i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
