why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
