CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
