We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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