K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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