Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
