get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
