So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
