No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
