we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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