Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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