Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Houston, we have a blender
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
