i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
