ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  and it's going to stay that way

  Fav 11 1130 3218

  share tweet
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  What are you doing?

  (352): View more from Florida

  High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...

  (352): View more from Florida

  That guy could sell me cancer.

  Fav 46 5549 1128

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

  Fav 99 2145 19248

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

  Fav 37 11359 1371

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"

  Fav 8 1597 3818

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

  Fav 11 6384 2528

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

  Fav 7 4157 1180

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

  Fav 8 3314 1199

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.

  Fav 21 933 3046

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.

  Fav 3 1144 795

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.

  Fav 1 777 517

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.

  Fav 1 619 355

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.

  Fav 7 1482 467

  share tweet
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Where are you?

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.

  Fav 0 46 12

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover

  Fav 0 49 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize