im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
