she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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