i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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