Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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