She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
