just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
