also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
