Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
