i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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