You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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