Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize