i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
