She is in my trunk
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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