u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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