I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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