One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
bring money and cleavage
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
