Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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